Tuesday, April 30, 2013

#firstworldproblems

If I ask for a small diet coke, please give me a small diet coke. I appreciate that they are all the same price, regardless of size. Please take a moment to mention that to me and let me make my own choices. When the price is not of my concern and the size is, I will tell you that I would prefer a small. Please change your order to a small instead of handing me whatever hell size you want to. I'm an adult but not so much of an adult that if it happens one more time I'm going to throw a temper tantrum.

When I tell you that I want you to write something creative on my birthday cake for work, "Celebrating Another Year" without my name ANYWHERE on the cake is not what I was looking for. Thanks for the effort. Apparently I do need to be a control freak. 

If you are going to make a right or left turn on the road, please COMMIT to the decision you're making and use the gas pedal to get the F off the road and don't just coast into the turn. I need you to understand that most of us aren't out on a Sunday stroll, we've got PLACES TO GO. 

I finished a book last night and have 3 options for new books to start and I have no way to decide, it's giving me anxiety.

Please don't call me and ask me to solve your problem and then continuously over talk me so that I can't be of any assistance and then start escalating the situation with yourself because you have yet to let me have a stab at the ole problem at hand. Oh, and then apologize for over-talking giving me the green light to ask if it may be appropriate for you to let me finish a sentence and then GO OFF like I just killed your child totally appalled that I just asked if I could help you (in the most unbitchy of ways, trust me).

Don't ask me to help you move out of your storage unit on a lovely Saturday and then stand in front of me, walk in front of me, walk towards me - when I'm trying to carry this huge box of alpaca rugs into your spare room. It took 72% of everything I had not to throw the box down and have a McDonalds giving me a large diet coke instead of a small grade meltdown.

Ok - that clears my head for today. 

Thanks and have a lovely Tuesday. :)

3 comments:

  1. Haha, the second last one sounds like a page from my life. I think some people would rather hear themselves talk (or should I say complain?) than actually be given any advice. Very annoying.

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  2. the COMMIT to turning thing is so truuuuue! cant stand that!

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